Run Away From Home

Run run run run run away.
ive experienced run-away-from-home situation alot of times. the longest? 3 weeks. thats right, you cant run forever. you know you cant. you'll be back someday. so my advice? its all up to you. if you think by running away can make you feel better somehow, then by all means, go. but be sure to come back. =)

my ex girlfriend. nadrah. nadrah nadrah nadrah. she decided to move along. without me. she want me out of her life. she want me out of her sight. she want me to be out of her mind. but still, she keep in touch with my mum. gosh, my mom talks about her every single day you could ever imagine. how the hell im supposed to move on? i know i cant. i know i did so many, alot, fucking alot, extremely-extraordinary alot mistakes last time. but ive changed, for her. and guess what?

its too late.

ive regretted. like hell. how i wish doraemon exist. how i wish the time traveller machine exist in this world. so i can turn back time, and re-do all the things ive done. i was nnaive, stupid, reluctantly gay with extra patheticness built in, last time. but i know ive change. ive become matured. thanks to her. thanks to my beloved half. but now, shes gone for good. why? because of me. none other than myself.

oh god. i miss her. i know it may seems like out of place for me to say this, but only god knows how much i miss her. her touch, her kiss, her face, her smile, her - everything. i just need one last chance. i nearly got it when she said she will give me the answer on 29th december. okayh, not nearly got it, but hey, at least i got a chance right? NO. she decided to turn it over. turn it like a mad man tossing a pizza and slammed it into my face. and she decided to end everything about me, her, nad, nzam, 19th of July 2003, and everything of what we used to be. there's no more deadline for me. there's nothing for me to wait for anymore. but im still waiting for 29th december. im still hoping. i dont know why. i know i wont get anything on 29 december, but why im still waiting? why?

maybe simply because of 1 thing.
a girl named Nadrah Mustafa.

thats when i decided to hate her. to hate my beloved half. i hate everything about her. i hate that i cant see her anymore. i hate that she wont call me anymore, to wake me up, to text me, to go out with me, to have dinner with me, to cook me something when my grumpy stomach sing, to be with me, to hug me, to kiss me.

i hate it when i cant stop thinking about her.

i hate it when i see her somewhere on the shopping mall or whatever.

i hate it when i cant totally forget anything about her.

i hate it when i cant seem to stop loving her.

maybe she will say "all your words are simply white lies!". probably i deserve sentences like that. im a big fat ass liar last time. who gave nothing but white lies and pretty cruxify seduction and fake cries. i know that. i realised that. so if you think i deserved it well, maybe i am. but i just want you to know, that ive change. alot. fucking alot. well beyond alot definition. and if you wont believe, or trust me now, its all my fault.

and so ill wait for 29 december. tho there's nothing more to wait for. tho i know in the end ill cry like a left-over baby. tho i know.. theres no more you.

none the less, ill wait. and ill remember our cherished moment together, forever, and ever. and i will always will. dont you worry. you gave me the biggest impact in my life. biggest. ever. youve changed me.

and the simple truth: i love you and ive regretted tho im so out of your league now.

Bragging Rights!

grace: aww..actually, for me, its really okayh to brag about yourself. means you have high self-esteem. you have confidence. you are proud to be you! you are proud of your achievements. thats good you know. keep it up! i love dancing also! para para, shuffle, lap dance, stupid dance, numanuma yeah, whatever dance, i just love it! maybe someday you two can teach me how to dance also! i would love to learn! =) xoxo

hongiee: what happen to the other sohai? busy like me? seems like we are the only 3 person who is actually alive and typing and posting something.

to me: i miss my ex. its killing me. i hope somebody, some girl will come,rescue me, and help me to move on and move along, and to totally forget her! im still waiting for 29th december tho my ex said its already over. nonetheless,ill wait. eventho theres nothing more to wait for...

selamat hari raya~~

heyy selamat hari raya to all the muslims out there ! nice pic grace! darn Spm's in like 22 days time sobz

its all about me now

aww. thanks for the compliment nzam. lol! the guy beside me is my dancemate. he's a bi-sexual practically. don't ask me why. he is like that when i first know him. i love him. he teaches me everything about dance. his name is IZZY by the way. BIG SMILE! and im glad you aint one. lol! my performance yest. was a BLAST! i had all the crowds clapping for me and him. we love performing! i wouldnt brag much but yea. do you guys think running away from home is cool? because of that, its running about in my mind. should i run or not? i gotta run for the next class now. ttyl. xx

Oh Ya.

oh ya, whos that guy beside you in the picture? i wonder and im curious... muehehehe.

Awww, Grace!

Grace!

awww, so sweet, blush blush. im not cute. and ahaks, i love to look stupid for my pictures. you should see my "nzam in paris" picture. i look extremely, self-obsessed, cam-whore, and reluctantly gay. huhu.

no, im not gay actually, but i like to act like one. being gay is alot of fun. but please, not the real gay. i cant imagine if....eeeew! you get the picture.

and you look cute too. im not saying this because you said im cute, but because you really are actually. ahaks! =) so keep up the cute-ness, coz we guys just love and just appreciate god's creation. especially cute cute ones like you, grace!

hrm, about the blog, u can say anything u want, from gay stuff, to your personal problems, (if you want to share, that is).

im reluctantly shy in real life. thats the simple truth. ahaks. but i love making new friends, and i love my friends alot. guys, im so sorry i just cant hang out with you all lately, busy with raya-ness, busy with my problems, and i got exam coming after raya. about revelation, i dont know about it yet, if you all can go by yourself, i think it will be better. coz i dont know i can make it or not. sorry for the grammatical mayhem, im so sleepy rite now. hu ha.

love,

nzam.

picture up

alright. my pic is already up. this would be the recent one which i took today before my performance. me and my dancemate.
and and1 definitely will let you guys know if someone bullys me. thanks beb! xx

what to post TO Miss.dancinismyobssesion

grace you can post bout anything! its all up to you ! hmmm about posting pics its up tp you also,better post lar then our crew will know you,let my or nizam know of anybody bullys you k?

Lets get the story goin'

much appreciated to be in here. the first of the first. lol! thanks NZAM and HONG for inviting /welcome me in. *BIG SMILE* nzam, you don't have to make yourself look good to impress. something which could inpressed me is how you talk. hee. well, no offence yea. you look pretty cute in tha pic. hah! fo` real. are you seriously gay? cause im still figuring out. hmm. so should i also post my picture up? haha! and and, to get things clear, what do we talk about in here? BS ay? anyhoots, i'll start with some stupid story soon. wait up for it. see ya guys around! hugs and kisses*

yess,we should recruit girl members!

haha welcome to the crew Gracie!